Every time I come back from a city I really like, my return to Mtl reminds me how much I hate this shithole. Vancouver had amazing cloudless sunny skies, killer asian food, fantastic seafood in general, very clean streets and general design, and the incredible Stanley Park, an easily-accessible park and waterfront with *3* beaches inside of it… wow.
Returning to Montreal I was return-culture-shocked by:
- Filth.
- Fake tans.
- Waifs and fatties.
Filth
To clarify- Vancouver is all about sparkling cleanliness and modernity. Due, I’m sure, to the Asian influence, they have no problems demolishing and rebuilding, as opposed to having cultural heritage buildings and maintaining facades and all that. But that aside they really do maintain an extremely clean city (aside from the infamous downtown eastside). But anyway by comparison Montreal is fucking filthy.
Fake tans
I never really noticed it before, but holy crap are there a lot of fake tans in Mtl. And I never realized how gross it was. Until I saw hordes of people with nice natural tans. So that’s what that’s supposed to look like!
Waifs and fatties
Vancouver people get up at 4am and jog and go kayaking and shit. Mtl people stay up into 4am drinking and eating poutine. So what you get is that in Mtl a ton of the skinny people are just people who starve themselves but do not work out. And then there’s the fatties. A steady diet of poutine and alcohol results in a champion’s body:
Sick of this overcast weather and humidity. Bleah.
Montreal sucks.